"Inside My Heart"

A couple weeks ago I purchased a book entitled "Inside My Heart" by Robin McGraw. I occasionally watch the Dr. Phil show if I home early enough in the afternoon and I love it when she is on the show. Now, I bought the book out of curiosity rather than feeling like I needed to buy the book because I absolutely love her. I have been saving a bunch of reading for my week off so that I didn't need to feel guilty about reading recreationally when I should instead be reading my anatomy textbook or something. So I began reading the book on Sunday night. Well, I am almost done it now. It's a really good book.
Robin is a practical down to earth kind of person who truly desires to live the life that God has intended her to live and to live with purpose. That is really the whole point of her book, to live with passion and purpose and being who God created you to be. I suppose one might think that it's easy for her to live with passion and purpose when you are married to "America's Doctor", but she in no way hides her struggles, her not so perfect past and how she made intentional choices in order to get to where she is today. Choices are a big message in her book; we all have choices to make whether we choose to live to our full potentional or if we choose to just stand by, we are all making choices. Whether they are good choices or not so good choices, that is another story. I thought she summed it up well in her book when she said this:

"It is not my intention to give people advice on how to solve their problems (I leave that up to my husband). But I've had my fair share of struggles over the years, and I know a thing our two about what has worked for me in this life. I have learned which battles to pick, when and how to push back, and how to bend without breaking. In short, I have figured out how not to lose "me" in the course of being so many things to so many people in so many areas of my life. I have chosen to be an active participant in my life rather than a spectator, and in doing so I have chosen how to be a woman, how to be a wife, and how to be a mother in ways that are uniquely my own. I offer the stories of these choices as evidence of the power and sheer determination, will and faith in God."

I really hope that at the end of my life, I will be able to look back on my life and conclude that I was the best woman, best friend, best wife and mother (when the time comes) and the best servent of God that I could possibly be. I think sometimes we are given these preconceived ideas on how we are supposed to do things and fail to realize that God made us all uniquely different. What may work for one person may not work for you or me. I want to be able to say that I played an active part in my life and didn't just stand by and watch becuase there were moments in the game where it was a little tense or dull. I want to leave it all out on the floor so that when I get to Heaven and meet my Creator that I might be greeted with the words, "Well done good and faithful servant, for it is with you I am well pleased".

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts if you have any and would highly recommend reading the book.

Home safe and sound

Well Dan, Bonnie and Cole arrived home from Mexico at midnight last night safe and sound. It is so good to have them home again. I was so excited to see them walk through the doors at the airport. The house was almost a little too quiet at times. Plus, I just missed Cole way too much (he must have grown a few inches while they were gone because he seems so much bigger than when they left).

We have spent the day swapping stories about what has happened in each other's lives over the last 2 weeks - it's funny how we missed sharing the little things in life with each other because everything seemed so important. What's even funnier is seeing me standing in between all 3 of them. I like like a piece of white chalk in comparison to all of them. Most of you know that I don't tan at all. Well Dan, Bonnie and Cole do tan and they are all so incredibly dark. It's crazy.

Here is a picture of me and Cole. Even with just

our faces you can see the difference in contrast

in our skin. --------------->

Tonight Cole and I had a welcome home party. We went to the store this afternoon and got gummie worms and rented the movie Peter Pan to watch in my bed. It was so nice to cuddle with him and hear all of his little stories.

FREE AT LAST

As of 2:30 this afternoon I was officially done my freshman semester at school. My exams are done and finished. I am exhausted but give me a day or 2 and I will be back to my old self. I know some people are quite happy and looking forward to that.
Tonight there was some celebration. Kristy and Sabrina came over to watch Greys Anatomy. All 3 of us are huge fans (I mean, who isn't a fan of Dr McDreamy???). It was freeing to be able to sit down in front of the tv with no guilt. I didn't have anything else that I should have been doing instead. What a freedom. I had the opportunity to just be and to relax. What a joy.

Spiritual Partnership

I came home from my first Anatomy exam today completely fried. A friend of mine told me to go home, crawl into bed and just relax as I was in the middle of a little meltdown. So I took her advice and turned on the tv (something I have not done in a long time it seems, which just seems crazy) and Oprah was on.

Now I have to say I enjoy watching Oprah. I don't always agree with what she is talking about, but most of the time I like watching her interviews, her bra interventions, how to dress and not to dress and those types of shows. Well today the subject sort of caught my ear. The title of the episode was "5 words that could save your marraige". I recommend reading or watching the show on www.Oprah.com

I am not married and nor can I foresee it happening in the near future. However I was intrigued. She had this guy on the show who wrote a book about Spiritual Partnership. This guy on the show defined Spritiual Partnership as,

"A partnership between equals for the purpose of spiritual growth".

Spiritual growth has nothing to do with religeon according to this author, but rather the development and growing of your own soul. God does not play a part.

The part that really caught my attention was when this guy said that "Only you can complete yourself. No one can complete you for you". I had to think about that for a second. On one hand I believe that you as a person have to make a conscious, personal choice about the direction you choose for your life and the kinds of people and things you choose to fill your life with. However, being a Christian, I suppose that changes my perspective a little bit because I believe that I can be completed, not necessarily by another human being, but by God.

It occured to me that there are so many people in this world that believe that they can be filled by another person and that person will make their life that much more meaningful when in reality, another person, in this case your spouse, is going to disappoint you and let you down, but God will not do that. He promises to never leave nor forsake us.

My hope for when I am in a place where I am getting married, that I will not rely on my spouse to make me completely happy and fulfill my soul. This man will contribute to my overall self, but he will not determine the fulfillment of my life. Only God can fulfill me and make me complete as I continue to journey down the path he has laid out for me and follow is will for my life.

I don't know if any of this made any sense, but they were just some of my thoughts.

On the Home Stretch

Well, I am officially on the home stretch of exams. I have only 2 more to go. Monday I have my massage practical exam - the 1 hour relaxation massage. I am not worried about this exam at all. However, I am my anatomy exams on Wednesday and Thursday, which I am terrified about. So much to remember, so little time.

Last night I enjoyed a night off from studying and
school work. I headed over to Graham and Kristy's for supper. We picked up subs. Mmmmm...they sure were good, followed by a fruit crisp, which I must say tasted pretty darn good. Our friends Even and Jen came over later on in the evening and we played Dice. We were all very over tired, which made the game that more entertaining. Good times! It was nice to be able to be social for a change and hang out with great friends.


Kristy getting frustrated with her dice rolls --->


Well I should get back to the studying and stop procrastinating.


Cheers!

A Start to a Much Better Week

I am happy to report that my spirits are in a much better place these days. After my last post, there was really no where else to go but up. I had a great weekend which is probably the main cause for my increase in spirits. I took some time for some much needed sleep and nourishing my own soul. I did have an exam this morning, so I did spend some time reviewing some notes and stuff, but other than that, my weekend was nice and relaxed.

Friday night Dan, Bonnie, Cole and I spent the night at home, ordered chinese food and just hung out. They left for Mexico first thing Saturday morning, so it was our last night together for 2 weeks. The house is so quiet. Almost eerie sometimes. I am going to miss them like crazy, but I am going to relish in the silence and the time with my own thoughts in this big old quiet house. I suppose it is a good thing that final exams are going on now, as I have little distraction which forces me to buckle down and study.

On Saturday afternoon, my friend Lavonne came over for a massage. I am practicing for my final exam practical. I need to get my relaxation massage down to 59-60 minutes on the dot. I am now at 1:02. After Lavonne's massage, we played playmobil. I love playmobil (apparently so does Lavonne), so we spent a good 45 min - an hour setting up the house. There is a different story to every room. It was so much fun playing like a kid again.

Saturday night was church. The sermon was great. Thanks Carolyn! The sermon was entitled "Fine Wine Living". I belive you can listen to the sermon on the FaithWorks website (www.efaithworks.ca). It was living in the joy of Christ. It was taken from the Wedding at Cana in the book of John and how all the signs point to life in Christ and the joy that it brings. So after the service, Bre, Melodie and I decided to do our own "fine wine living" by heading over to Saucers Cafe for some food and coffee. Good times were had by all. It was great spending time catching up with these girls and listening to the work God is doing in their lives. God is definitely a good God!!!

This is the drink I orderded. It was called the Mad Monk. Here Melodie is posing with the drinking...imitating the so called mad monk. I ordered it specifically for the name, but you should never judge a drink by its name cuz it was not very good at all. The kahlua, the Baileys and some other weird type of alcohol were in there and it was WAY too strong!! Next time I will stick to the Latte.

Sunday was spent mostly studying for my exam. Aimee came over for her massage in the afternoon and then we headed over to my home away from home...Starbucks for a good latte. It had been a very long time since I had gotten together with Aimee, so it was a much needed catch up time.

Following coffee I headed over to my parents for some good homeade chicken soup for supper. There is nothing like homemade soup when its -35 outside. It just warms you to the core and it was nice to be able to spend some time at home.

So that was my weekend. It was very much needed nourishment for my spirit and soul.

One down 4 to go

Well I wrote my first exam today...physiology. I think I need to make a sign that hangs around my neck that says, DO NOT TALK TO ME!!!
It was by far the worst exam that I have written ever. I actually sat at my desk and cried. I know that probably sounds really pathetic, but I was so completely overwhelmed with questions and the lack of understanding the questions, that I could do nothing but cry. It was terrible. It seems to be a class consensus too, so that made me feel a bit better. At least I'm not the only one who felt utterly hopeless in there. Well I need a 60% to pass the year (the passing mark is 70%), so I am praying really hard that I got at least 60% percent. It defintely won't be much more than that though.

Well I am off to go and study for the next exam...Basic Massage. I have bit more hope for this next one, which is on Monday.

Ode to being stressed

Final exams start tomorrow. The first one is physiology and I am extremely stressed. If anyone feels like praying tomorrow at 1pm, that would be very welcome. I have had little to no sleep over the last couple of days, so studying and exhausted equals a very tired and cranky student. Saturday Dan, Bonnie and Cole leave for Mexico for 2 weeks, so it will be nice to have a quiet house during my 2 weeks of insanity with school.
I will probably need some study breaks next week, so if anyone feels like going for coffee, I am game...Kristy???? Give me a call.
I might be on a bit of blogging break while studying, so feel free to leave me comments as I will definitely check and if time allows, I will post when I can.
I appreciate all of those people how have been praying for me! I appreciate it more than words could say!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLE!!!

Happy Birthday Cole!

Today you are 4 years old! I can't believe it! You have grown into such a big boy. It wasn't very long ago when you were just a tiny baby. I love it that you are growing into such a big boy because you are so much fun to play with. I like it when we can play fun games together like "Trouble" and "Cadoo". I love it when we lay in bed before falling asleep and making funny jokes and giggling. I love your laugh, it makes me want to laugh too. I enjoy waking up with you and cuddling on the couch while watching Backyardigans together. And I especially love our dance parties. I love ketchup chip mondays with you, I love enjoying slurpees with you. I love playing playmobil with you and I love reading stories with you.

Cole, I thank God every day for you. You bring so much joy and light into my life. Thank you for being you. I hope and pray that you will continue to grow up to be a mighty man of God and that you will grow up seeking Jesus with all of your heart. You ask so many good questions and I pray that you would continue to ask questions and to be curious. I love you sooo much! Bigger than a crane!

Here are some pictures of Cole's birthday party yesterday with some of his friends. We went to the Golf Dome to play some mini golf with Sam, Everett and Jackson.

This is the cake I made for Cole. It's his spaceship cake. I was pretty impressed with myself.

75 Things About Me

1. Slurpees are my drink of choice. I have approximately one a day.
2. I am in massage therapy at the Massage Therapy College of Manitoba. I will graduate June of 2008.
3. I am the oldest of 3 children. I have 2 younger brothers, Kevin and Derek
4. I live with my friend Bonnie, her husband and her almost 4 year old boy Cole
5. Cole is the light and joy of my life.
6. I love to play volleyball and basketball, although I haven't played very much in the last 4 years.
7. This summer I played on an Ultimate Frisbee team with friends from church. We weren't very good, but we had a lot of fun.
8. I love to worship God through music.
9. I love to laugh so hard that it eventually brings me to tears.
10. I struggle with depression and must rely on medication to make the day run effectively.
11. I love children and this summer I am running a daycare.
12. I love to bake - this is a new found joy since I have started school and has become a source of procrastination from studying.
13. I love good conversations
14. Sitting in Starbucks or Second Cup talking with a friend is my definition of time well spent
15. I have an addiction to TV, especially with Gilmore Girls, Grey's Anatomy, The OC, and America's Next Top Model
16. I love spending time at the cabin. It has so many good memories.
17. I miss my Grandpa a lot. He died 5 1/2 years ago - he was one of my best friends.
18. I love to read books like the Shopaholic series
19. I have a shopping addiction and my favorite shopping partner is Jodi
20. I am terrible with money
21. I live in the heart of Corydon Village
22. I love mozza sticks. mmmm...deep fried cheese
23. I love the Backstreet Boys - Aimee, Jess and Janessa are my allies in this love. Summer 2005, the 4 of us drove down to Minneapolis to see them. It was the greatest weekend of my life. We played bsb the entire way down and back. It was glorious.
24. I have little tolerance for stupid people
25. I am one of the few people in this world that does NOT like chocolate
26. I don't like eating ground beef. I would much rather eat chicken. If I needed to, I could live without meat altogether.
27. I don't have my ears pierced, but I do have my nose pierced
28. I bite my nails
29. When I get bored, I like to rearrange furniture
30. I like taking pictures
31. My favorite time of the year is fall
32. I enjoy tubing and waterskiing in the summer at the cabin
33. I love to play boggle
34. I love all fruit
35. My first summer job was working at Safeway - I hated it
36. I hate the sound of ice grinding together. It gives me the shivers
37. I have only had one boyfriend
38. I love Jesus with all my heart
39. Mary Reimer is my "hero". She is the most incredible woman I know and I love her to bits
40. I don't really enjoy taking baths, but I have discovered that it is a great studying location as there are no other distractions.
41. I have a crazy obsession with cleaning my ears. I hate the idea of wax in my ears
42. I have broken my arm 4 times and they all happened to occur the 2nd weekend in January for 4 years in a row while playing basketball. I broke my foot last February.
43. I love to eat sandwiches
44. I need to have a clean kitchen in order to feel good.
45. I love Pumpkin Spice Latte's from Starbucks
46. My favorite food of all time is Wareneke with cottage cheese and white sauce and nobody makes them like my grandma.
47. I have not lived at home for 3 years
48. My pet peeve is when things have rhythmic noises such as ticking clocks. It drives me batty
49. I am an impatient driver, but I am learning to have more patience with people.
50. When I was in grade 11 my basketball coach and I had a competition who could eat at the most McDonalds in Winnipeg. Looking back, what was I thinking?
51. I have never taken drivers ed. I learned on my own
52. I love hearing children laugh
53. I love snuggling up with Cole before bed and laying with him until he falls asleep.
54. My dream trip would be to go to Europe. That is my plan the day after I graduate
55. I can't tan in the summer. I either remain pasty white or burn to a crisp
56. I believe that prayer has a huge impact on people
57. One of my favorite times in the week is when I can go to church and just be with God. Sometimes I need that excuse of a set time to be with God.
58. I love nachos. I am a firm believer that a good batch of nachos constitutes as a good supper.
59. I have never gotten a speeding ticket, but I have gotten into 2 accidents
60. In elementary school I had a "wacky tuesday" with a friend of mine. Every tuesday we would dress up in neon tights, shorts, suspenders, tye-dyed shirts, and mismatching shoes.
61. I love to listen to old Amy Grant music from the 80's.
62. When I was a little girl, I loved taping and filming myself singing and dancing on the coffee table and I'm pretty sure they will be brought out at my wedding.
63. I love to dance.
64. I wish I would have taken ballet when I was younger.
65. I like theatre. I especially like watching my friend Toni perform. She is an incredible actress
66. I don't like animals that scurry or slither such as snakes or mice
67. When I was 2 1/2 I drove my mom's car through the garage.
68. I have only been in 1 wedding party
69. I love my morning routine with Cole, breakfast and watching Backyardigans before school
70. I love to walk outside. My favorite time to walk is when it is still snowing or a late summer evening. I am always looking for walking partners. Give me a call if you want to go for a walk.
71. I don't really like eating lunch.
72. I could eat cereal all day
73. One day I want to be on the Amazing Race
74. Despite the cold winters, I love Winnipeg.
75. I have been to see a Broadway musical in New York

HAPPY NEW YEAR *2007*

Happy New Year! I wish everyone all the best in 2007.