Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Oodles of Thoughts

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I LOVE Christmas, however, sadly this year my parent's house looks very little like Christmas. Usually at this time of the year, the Christmas tree goes up, the nativity scene comes out, garland is threaded up railings and posts, the advent calender that I had for my very first Christmas gets hung up and Christmas baking begins. Since we will be gone for Christmas this year, my parents have voted out the decorations - apparently too much work for no one to enjoy - bah I say. I was able to negotiate with my mom to at least put some garland up around the house. My hope is that with time, more Christmas decor will show its face in the next few weeks.
Most people I know despise Christmas shopping - the hustle and bustle in the malls just makes them cringe. I however, find Christmas shopping absolutely wonderful. I love casually walking around the mall, with a starbucks in hand of course, listening to Christmas music over the PA system as I carefully try to pick out the "perfect" gift for each person on my list. I am going to miss that aspect of Christmas this year.

I first realized that Christmas is right around the corner when I stepped into Starbucks a couple weeks ago and noticed that the holiday drinks are out. Those bright red cups and the Christmas music that echoes through the place just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Delightful.

It's been a crazy week so far. I am in the second last week of coaching volleyball and as much as it has been a very enjoyable season, I am looking forward to the "extra" time that I will acquire in my life. The going from work to volleyball to work again is a lot of wasted time and it gets to be slightly tiring.
Work has been quite busy this month so far. I'm not quite sure what the shift is, but I am in no way complaining. This past Monday I turned away 11 people!! That's just craziness. Apparently EVERYONE needed to get in right away and I only had 4 appointments open. No one was able to come back another day because they needed the massage NOW. Go figure. People are funny and I am constantly amazed by them.

I have been enjoying the presence of Jesus like never before. I can't begin to explain the joy that flows out of me. Please do not assume that this joy means that I am happy 24/7 because I am not (my family can attest to that), but there is an inner peace inside of me that I can't necessarily explain. I have been more intentional about the time I spend with Jesus in silence. It is certainly not an easy task when you live in a house with 7 other people constantly coming and going. Finding a space for silence is a task within itself, but there have been quiet moments and I have enjoyed every minute of that time spent in the presence of Jesus.
Something that I sometimes struggle with is focusing too much on the future. I seem to tell myself that when such and such an event occurs, that is when my life is going to start. For example, when I get married, that is when life is going to get good. I think that it is good to set goals and have aspirations, but when those goals and defining moments prevent you from living in the present, in the now, we create a problem for ourselves and our relationship with Jesus. Most of my friends are married and are now on to the next stage of life in having kids. I think that's awesome and I am pumped and excited for each and every one of them. I do struggle though with wishing that I too, was in that same place in life. It is when I put all of my focus and energy on looking to the future and what I think it should hold when my relationship with Jesus takes a back seat. Being consumed with these thoughts allows the God moments in the present day to slip by without notice - we are missing out on some good Jesus time. I believe that Jesus does not dwell in the future - yes he knows what the outcome of my choices and decisions will be, but Jesus lives in the present moment and I need to be willing to live in the present with Jesus if I desire him to work and speak into my heart. So my prayers are no longer focused on asking Jesus to show me the "right" man in my life, but rather that my eyes and ears might be opened so that I might see his presence in my life. That is just something that I have been learning in the last little bit that I wanted to share.

Criminal minds is starting, so I'm thinking that pajamas, a cozy blanket and a hot cup of tea are in order as I curl up on the couch. It sounds like the perfect way to end off a busy day!

2 comments:

Aimee said...

I am excited to hear that you are having good time with Jesus!!! Thanks for sharing your thoughts :)

Unknown said...

What a surprise to be checking out your blog and find...ME! Thanks, Kara, for your words of affirmation. what a nice birthday surprise. I was really interested in your experiences of alone times with Jesus, even in the midst of a busy household and an active life. I am convinced that the busier we get, the more desperately we need those "mini-Sabbaths" where we leave everything else behind and hurry to be with the One who loves us perfectly.
I'm so glad that you are discovering this while you are young. Too many people wait - it's that Future focus again! - to develop a life with spiritual disciplines and miss out on that intimacy with Jesus that you describe so well. Love you.