I AM

Tonight my heart aches and my soul is heavy - it has been for a number of weeks now. I have been trying to rest in the arms of Jesus and trust that He is who He says He is. God has been speaking beautiful pictures into my head so that I may come to understand and know that He is indeed in control. To fully trust and rest in Jesus is a task that is easier preached than practiced, but I am learning. May the peace and grace of Christ be present in my heart tonight.

O LORD, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth!

You have set your glory above the heavens.

From the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise

because of your enemies,

to silence the foe and the avenger.

When I consider your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,

what is man that you are mindful of him,

the son of man that you care for him?

You made him a little lower than the heavenly beings

and crowned him with glory and honor.

You made him ruler over the works of your hands;

you put everything under his feet:

all flocks and herds,

and the beasts of the field,
the birds of the air,

and the fish of the sea,

all that swim the paths of the seas.

O LORD, our Lord,

how majestic is your name in all the earth!

~Psalm 8

"This is what the LORD says—
your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb:
I am the LORD, who has made all things,
who alone stretched out the heavens,
who spread out the earth by myself,

~ Isaiah 44:24

Birthday Wishes

Happy 19th Birthday Derek

I hope your day is a fabulous one. May this next year ahead be filled with many new adventures.

A Little of This and That

I have returned home from Toronto safe and sound. It was quite the trip though. The course was good, but not what I expected. I thought I was going to learn a lot more then I thought I did. In Ontario, their massage schools have a very different curriculum then Manitoba. For example, in their schools they do not learn any pregnancy massage whereas we do. I didn't necessarily learn any new techniques, but it was a good refresher and gave me more experience and confidence in the skill I already have. In Ontario, most massage therapists seem to work in the hospitals whereas I don't think there are any massage therapists in any hospitals in Manitoba. When a therapist from Ontario takes this pregnancy course, they more often then not become doulas and labour support. I think those people are very valuable, however I have no desire to be involved in the birthing process.

On Friday when the class first started, the instructor stood up and said, "Haven't you guys always just wanted to know what a cervix feels like?" I looked around the room and we all were like, "What????". I thought I was maybe in the wrong class or something. I was not. The instructor had some interesting ideas and thoughts about the role of the massage therapist in the pregnancy and labour process that I didn't necessarily agree with, but I admired her passion and knowledge of the subject.

One of the biggest things that was different between Ontario and Manitoba massage schools is that they perform breast massage. In Manitoba we do NOT do that and I am quite thankful we don't. Imagine the following scenario if you will:

30 students paired up, 15 massage tables arranged in a circle with half of the students laying on the table and the other half giving the massage. There is no fancy draping, but rather, the sheet just comes down and there I was, along with 14 other girls fully exposed on top in a semi-reclined position. I was slightly mortified. The therapists are then instructed to get a firm grasp of the breast, hold it at the base and jostle it back and forth to increase circulation and keep it moving. Not only was it a bizarre experience, but it also hurts like hell. It was awful. I am quite thankful that we do not do this in Manitoba.

I understand the use of breast massage for doing lymph work as it is a major site of lymph nodes, but there is no need to do any other vigorous work to the breast as it is not a muscle, but rather ducts and fat.

The location of my hotel and the school was not in a very "safe" neighbourhood. It was recommended that I not do any walking outside, so I was bound to cabs and buses. Originally when I booked the hotel I was told that the hotel and the school were in walking distance - about 1/2 an hour or so. No problem. Friday afternoon I ventured out to make the trek to the school. I started walking for a couple minutes, those couple minutes turned into 30 minutes and then 45 minutes. At that point I stopped a man on the street and asked where this school was. He informed me that I had a good hour walk yet ahead of me. I'm so glad I had change with me because at that point I hopped on a bus and eventually made it to the school. The walk was definitely more then 1/2 an hour.

I arrived in Toronto Friday morning at 9am and had 6 hours to kill before I had to be at the school so I decided that my time could not be better spent then shopping at one of the malls. It was a fabulous mall. They had awesome stores, but unfortunately not a lot of sales. H&M did come through for me and I managed to pick up a few shirts/sweaters. After the cab rides, that was about all I could afford.

I even managed to go to Louis Vitton, although I felt quite out of place in my jeans and hoodie. Plus, I didn't have $500 - $1400 to spend on a purse. Perhaps someday :)

The highlight of my trip was getting to see Jon and Jess. We met at the airport on Sunday evening for supper before my flight left. It was so nice to see friendly faces and have the opportunity to talk in person rather then over email and facebook. Thanks Jon and Jess for coming all the way from Hamilton to see me. It was sooooo good to finally hang out with you!

At the airport there was a fabulous display of pictures a photographer had taken. This one was my favorite. Notice the nail polish and the red lipstick??

Prior to my leaving for Toronto, the weekend before I spent the day with Cole. He had been asking for a Kara/Cole day and wanted to go to Build-a-Bear and to the movie Space Chimps. Apparently he had been saving up for this for quite some time and wanted to spend it making a bear with me. I felt honoured. It's quite the process to make a bear and quite expensive - definitely not an everyday occurrence, however it was so nice to be able to spend the day with him. I miss that kid so much!

And of course I have to include a picture of Norah - she keeps getting cuter and sweeter with each passing day!

This post was kind of all over the place - sorry. There were some loose ends to tie up.

Toronto Bound

Tomorrow morning, bright and early - 6:00 am to be exact, I will be on route to Toronto to take my pregnancy massage course. I'm mostly excited to do this, however, I have never travelled ALL by myself and that makes me a little nervous. I'm sure all will be good though. It's a short, sweet trip - just for the weekend, but it will be nice to get away.

The highlight of the weekend other then the course will definitely be Sunday night when I get to meet up with Jess. Her and Jon moved there at the beginning of August and I have missed her terribly. I'm excited for our conversations and having the opportunity to catch up with each other.

I'm sure there will be lots of pictures to follow early next week. It's been a long time since I have posted any pictures. Whoops!

So until next week, enjoy the weekend and the beautiful weather Winnipeg has in store!

The Verdict is in...

Today was the big day - the day I finally after a long 9 month wait to see the infamous neurologist Dr. Bourque. Not a whole lot of new information was gained from today's appointment. I seem to have the doctors stumped! However, here is what was said:

I have symptoms of both migraine headaches and tension headaches. Usually migraine headaches are seen in people over the age of 40, but it's not unheard of for people my age to have them. That being said, I also present with some symptoms that make the doctor think that my headaches could be due to something more serious, but he assured me that I need not to be worried about that just yet.

So the plan: I am discontinuing my birth control because my headaches could be due to hormone levels. I don't need it for contraceptive reasons, so that should be no problem.
I have been given a new type of medication to replace my "flying" medication as I like to call it. Previously I had been prescribed Maxalt from my G.P. but that is a pretty intense drug that makes me feel a little loopy and like I can fly. This new medication is a sister drug to that one, so we'll see how it goes. Unfortunately this new drug is not a cheap one (around $15 per pill) so it's not my first choice in treatment.
Finally, in 6 months if nothing is improving and my head is still hurting, I will be going for a follow-up appointment to this neurologist and new CT and MRI scans will be ordered.

I was hoping that this appointment would provide some relief and give me some answers, but it just reminded me that this is in God's hands and at least now I have a little bit of a direction to go down in terms of treatment. It's a small step, but at least it's something.

Thank you to all of you who sent off emails to me today and phone calls. They were very sweet. It is wonderful to know I have such a supportive community of friends.

Asleep at the Switch

Volleyball is officially in full swing. It's exciting. I haven't played in that gym for 6 years and I thought it might be tough going back in there, but I am surprised at how natural it was. The girls I am coaching seem like a really great bunch of girls - they are good players too! I think it's going to be an awesome season together.

Back in July, Sabrina and I were having a conversation one day about our various gifts and how to use them. At that particular moment in time I was feeling compelled to have the opportunity to work with some girls in junior high. Normally this not the age group I am drawn to, but I felt as though God was laying this on my heart. Currently there is no formal youth group at our church and the activities planned for girls in the grade 7-9 age range already have a fabulous program and leaders, so I thought, well God, where do you want me to be???
It wasn't until this past weekend, I was doing some reflecting when I realized God provided a way for me to be with a group of girls in Grade 9. I had completely overlooked the fact that I am coaching volleyball to grade 9 girls!! I immediately got excited. It's as if it dawned on me for the first time!! Sometimes I think I am asleep at the switch.

I remember those junior high years very well - although sometimes I would rather not remember them. Junior high is a crucial time in a kid's life. There are so many changes that are going on - physical, emotional, hormonal, spiritual. You are desperately trying to find your way and figure out where you fit in. I was soooo lucky to have some amazing mentors through those years who helped me survive the hell I created for myself. It's neat to be able to think that in the next few months as I interact with these girls and form relationships with them, that I will get to be a part of their lives and hopefully be a person with whom they can look up to or at least trust in. That may be asking a lot and perhaps I ought to take things slow and let God do the leading, but I am praying that I can show these girls a different view of Jesus through coaching.

I have been praying relentlessly over the past few months to be inspired and to be pushed beyond my comfortable boundaries to embrace all that God has planned for me. God is definitely good and I am pumped to see where this goes. I feel as though these next few months are going to be inspiring ones!

And the saga continues...

The last 4 days of my life can be summed up using only a four words:

AWFUL AWFUL AWFUL HEADACHES!!!

I'm not sure why they have suddenly taken a turn for the worse, but I am NOT impressed. Thursday night my family had to come and pick me up from work and drive my car home because I had lost my vision. Thursday was by far the worst day, but has not improved all that much since then.
Yesterday I spent the day in a gym doing massages for a volleyball tournament I was asked to be at. The flourescent lighting and the constant whistle-blowing and noise was enough to make me scream. I crashed hard at 10pm when I finally arrived home.
Today I am taking the day slow, spending a majority of it in bed and praying that tomorrow I can awake with a fresh head and new eyes to be able to appreciate the things in my day. Tomorrow I have my first tryout for the grade 9 girls vball team I am coaching, so I better be in good spirits.

Until next time...

Hello September!

I have written down the word September many times over the past 2 days and every time I do I am amazed that it is in fact, already September. It's crazy how fast time flies. September brings with it the "back to school" excitement (although I am excited and proud to say that I no longer have to go back), the crisp autumn air and the intense colour changes of leaves on the trees. Yesterday morning I pulled out my down vest from the back of my closet - putting on the vest made me feel all warm and cozy inside. Do you have clothes that do that for you? My vest is that item of clothing for me!

September also brings routine. I am a lover of routine and order. Sometimes I need to remind myself that not all things need to be planned out and written down. There are moments when it is Ok to fly by the seat of my pants :) Work is going well. My client base is slowly increasing and I am finding myself busier, which is a good thing. Sometimes money is good! My schedule is now a little more solidified and balanced, which is very much welcomed.

Although I am no longer in school full time, I am learning that it doesn't mean I have more time on my hands. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I have gotten myself involved in some great things this fall - all things that I am quite excited about taking part in, however, I have yet to determine how my body is going to be in all of these places. I have been asked to be the assistant coach for the grade 9 girls volleyball team from MBCI this fall and I am really excited about that. It has been years since I have played or been apart of the game in any way and now I am both coaching and playing on a senior women's team with my friend Steph, so I guess you could say that I am back in the game!

Our church is having a learning series on Tuesday mornings entitled "Reading the Bible". I am stoked to take part in these sessions as this has been something that has been on my heart as of late. I am currently in the process of trying to discern between my voice and God's and how to know if what I am hearing is truth. I must admit that reading my bible and devotions is not a strong suit of mine - they both tend to be put on the shelf first when life gets a bit hairy. I feel that I am strongly being nudged by both some influential people in my life and by God to really allow myself to dive into the Word and go deeper with Jesus. My heart is craving inspiration and essentially more time with Jesus. Because September also means new beginnings in many ways, I am excited to shape this part of my life into a daily discipline and experience some real heart changes.

Last but not least, September also brings with it my favourite yummy treat from Starbucks...Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Oh how I LOVE this divine drink. Tonight I met with my girls - Kristy (& Norah), Sabrina and Aimee over delicious lattes. I had forgotten how wonderful it tasted. I even indulged in a venti - Go big or go home I always say!

And this picture is just for fun because it is just so darn cute: Auntie Aimee gave Norah her mastercard this evening as a joke and apparently she seems quite pleased that she has it. Graham and Kristy watch out!

Mani's, Tea Parties & Photoshoots

Last week marked my last official week of childcare for Ella and Sophie. The summer has come to a close and they have joyfully returned to school (not because they are happy to get rid of me - but rather they are excited to be back in school). To celebrate "back to school" and the end of our summer together I decided we needed to having a special outing. I asked myself, what would 2 girls enjoy doing??? I quickly came up with the idea to go to get manicures at one of the local aesthetic schools (they do mini manicures for $3.00 and adults for $6.00 - you can't go wrong), followed by lunch at a formal tea house. The girls were PUMPED!!!

It's hard to tell that my nails are even painted, but because I can't have long nails with my job and I am not supposed to have nail polish on my fingers, I had to stick with a neutral colour and keep things pretty simple. The $6 is looking perfect for my low maintenance nails :)

I wish I had taken more pictures of the girls in the process of getting their nails done but having my nails worked on at the same time, made picture taking a tad difficult! Their facial expressions were priceless though - both girls had smiles from ear to ear.

Following manicures we headed over to "Two a Tea" on Corydon for our lunch/tea time. I had no idea as to what to expect when we got there - I had never been there before. From the outside it doesn't look like much - just an old house. However, as soon as we walked through the doors, I knew we were going to have to really mind our manners. Everyone who was there was wearing dresses/skirts or dress pants and 95% of the people there were over the age of 60 (the 3 of us made up the other 5%).

We were seated at a quaint little table in front of the fireplace. The wait for our food tried the patience of 2 very hungry girls but I was extremely impressed with their manners and patience. Once our food came we enjoyed "Sunshine Lemon Roobois Tea", homemade hot chocolates for the girls, a plate of egg salad sandwiches and carrot soup for me. It was all very delicious. My favourite part was definitely being served tea with real tea cups. Even though I am not typically a very dainty person, it's fun pretending every once in awhile :)

Sophie eating so politely - using her fork and knife to cut her open faced egg salad sandwich. I was impressed.

Ella patiently waiting for food.

This will definitely be a repeat outing on a future date!

On another day last week, the girls and I ventured out to the Forks to kill some time and have some fun walking around while the cleaners were at the house. Ella suggested that we find some fun spots around the Forks to take some pictures of each other. I thought, how fun! Here were the results: