Thoughts with Jesus

It would seem that over the course of the last few weeks, Jesus and me have been at somewhat of a stand still. It feels as though it was not long ago where I found myself waking up in the morning, craving the presence of Jesus, desiring to be closer to him, to try and truly know and see what needing Jesus is all about. I was so thirsty and I wanted to be quenched.

As of late, I'm not entirely sure what has happened. I don't really have an extensive list of activities that have filled my calender, and yet, I have somehow failed to include and invite Jesus into the everyday. This past weekend I have found myself back in the place of desiring and wanting Jesus again. The key words in that last sentence are desiring and wanting. Those aren't what I would call "action" words. I have the yearning in my heart to have me and Jesus be in sync, but I fail the drive and conscious choice to get me back to that place.
I am desiring to learn more. I want to re-acquaint myself with the pages of scripture once again. I want my time with Jesus to be desired. I want to feel a deep absence in my heart when time with Jesus is missed. I want thoughts of Jesus to be the first thing that I think when I wake up in the morning. I crave to see and feel glimpses of Jesus in the many other relationships in my life - to notice the fingerprints of God not only in my own life, but also in the lives of others. I want to not forget to rejoice and praise with a thankful heart.

Yesterday our "How to Read the Bible" bible study group met for the first time again since Christmas and it was so refreshing to dig deeper, to pray together, and to seek together the pages of scripture. I have missed that. I felt as though I was finally taking action again and it felt good. As were talking and discussing some points throughout the chapter, there was a paragraph that stood out to me. It goes as follows:

"The genius of the biblical story is what it tells us about God himself: a God who sacrifices himself in death out of love for his enemies; a God who would rather experience the death we deserved than to be apart from the people he created for his pleasure; a God who himself bore our likeness, experienced our creatureliness, and carried our sins so that he might provide pardon, reconciliation; a God who would not let us go, but who would pursue us - all of us, even the worst of us - so that he might restore us into joyful fellowship with himself; a God who in Christ Jesus has so forever identified with his beloved creatures that he came to be known and praised as the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."

What I like about that paragraph above, is that it is a harsh reminder that this is not about us as people. It is about God. I think there is a beautiful freedom in each of those statements that identifies who God is. Yes, we live in a fallen world, where we will mess up over and over again. There will be days where me and Jesus won't be connecting on the same page. The beautiful part is that God does not stop pursuing us, restoring us and redeeming us, faults and all. This is in no way an excuse for us to use "cheap grace" to our individual advantage, but rather in those moments when I fail to need Jesus to be apart of my day to day, it is a reminder that I am still being pursued and sought after. I am redeemed. What freedom!