I'm not sure what comes to your mind when one hears the word "fasting". Initially, the first thoughts that cross my mind are: No Food and lots of Praying! Lent is right around the corner and it is often a time of fasting for many people, whether it be fasting from a certain food, beverage, caffeine, computer, video games, etc. The list goes on.
For the past week or so I have been contemplating what I am going to "give up" for lent in order to spend that time in prayer with God. The normal list of foods and coffees and computer were all possibilities up until Saturday. We had a great sermon at church and it drastically changed my thought process on lent. My previous list were all things that I could probably do without for 40 days (well, except for maybe coffee), but would I really use that time in prayer with Jesus? If I'm being honest, the answer is probably not. I would love to be able to say that everytime I had a craving for a cup of coffee, I would drop what I was doing and spend time with Jesus. If only it were that easy.
So, Saturday's sermon got me thinking. What in my life is preventing me from seeing and being with Jesus? What in my life is keeping me from being content with Jesus? Upon some time of reflection, I realized that the answer to my questions was all wrapped up in my wanting to be in control in my life. I want a plan. I want a routine, a time line. Fortunately, God does not work according to our schedules and time lines. I struggle with wanting to be in control being in control - or lack thereof. I have a plan in my head as to how I want my life to look, but when I sit down and examine the way my life has actually turned out, I realize that there were a few more twists, turns and detours that have led me in a completely different direction then what I had imagined. Looking back, I must admit that those detours have been for the better - incredible things have resulted. I am guilty of focusing too much of my time on the future rather then in the present moment. The "if only" game plays on and on in my head and I fail to see the joys and the delight in right now.
So, for lent this year, I am not giving up a food or anything materialistic. Instead I am relinquishing my control over the things in my life to God. I am fasting from control. I have a hunch that this will be a daily choice (probably numerous times a day) this lent season, but I think God will understand. My heart so badly desires to be content with who God has made me to be and the things He has planned for my life, and so I am praying that Lent will bring a new joy, a deeper connection with the Spirit and an overwhelming peace to my life. My hope is that this does not end with Easter, but that this lent season would truly be transforming in my life so that it would carry on through the rest of the year.
2 comments:
What a challenging, but beautiful thing to give up--control. It's something I have been exposed to a lot this year (lack of control). I hope this period of Lent, and beyond, brings with it deep trust and growth. Thanks for challenging me, too.
Sounds like lots of work, but I am sure you will find it very rewarding!
Post a Comment