Christmas 2011

Christmas came and went in what seems like a blink of the eye and yet Christmas turned out to be different than I was expecting this year. Different is not good, it's not bad. It's just different. We got the Christmas ball rolling Friday evening with an extended Friesen gathering. It was loud, a tad chaotic but it was an evening of catching up with cousins and holding brand new babies.
Christmas Eve consisted of the traditional Chinese food with the parents, although this year we added some cousins, aunts, uncles and grandmas into the mix. We enjoyed another great Christmas Eve church service at St Benedicts Table where we were challenged to feast in the life of Christ a midst the uncertainty and darkness in our lives. We then returned home to games and yet again, more food. 
Christmas morning as an immediate family was short and sweet due to the juggling of in-laws and new family traditions. Kinks are still being worked out for next year, but regardless, it was good to enjoy a fabulous breakfast together before heading off to other family engagements. 

A giant crossword and coffee sitting by the Christmas tree is a pretty fantastic way to spend early Christmas morning!

even Kitty got dressed up for the festivities.

I got my cappuccino machine :) Now I get to experiment!

The traditional Christmas family photo, in all our morning glory :)

And that is kind of where Christmas came to a halt for me. Christmas Day afternoon the plague of the flu hit me like a ton of bricks. I was down for the count and I have remained that way until the afternoon today. Despite the achy body, gastro mal functions (sorry too much info :), I can say that I am officially well rested.


So there ya have it. Christmas 2011 in a nutshell. As we enter a new year, I will choose to feast in the unexpected - to feast in the celebratory moments of life - to feast in the moments where things don't go right - to feast because God has lavished his love upon me so that I may live in the shadow of his grace all because of a baby that was born thousands of years ago in the darkness, in the unexpected.

Advent

I've been doing a lot of thinking in regards to advent this year. I wanted to prepare my heart for the birth of Christ in a meaningful way, but my thoughts seemed to be more scattered and jumbled than I would have liked. And as such, this post will reflect my frame of mind as well. That being said, I found myself on Friday afternoon, alone in the house with some quiet time for myself, so I naturally decided to pour myself into pages of Ann Voskamp's book. I'm taking my time with this read. I want to soak up and really spend time thinking about the words she writes. I'm loving her thoughts on joy and humility.

"Awe ignites joy because it makes us bend the knee and I remember a night chasing moon and we are deepest happiness in the posture of grateful worship. Because the God-likeness within our smallness speaks to the Father God in His magnificence."

I don't spend enough time in the posture of worship - physically bending my knees, opening up arms and hands to receive all that He has to give, and gazing into the face of the God I love. Last week, when I was in Abbotsford, I had the opportunity to experience that unspeakable, indescribable joy and it made me realize how much I have craved that kind of worship these past months. I need to find ways in which there can be more space in my life to allow this worship and connectedness with God to continue. On Friday, as I spent some time in silence before the Lord, I heard Him say, "Just go. Go worship. Now." I listened. I turned on the music and allowed the Spirit to move me. There in my living room, I created space to literally fall on my knees and sing. I had goosebumps on my arms and that spine shivering feeling as the Spirit moved. It was a beautiful and spontaneous moment. As I continue to prepare my heart for the birth of Christ, I hope I can carry this posture of worship as I approach the manger, just as the wise men and shepherds did.


My second thought surrounding advent, draws me into the story of Mary. She intrigues me. When the Angel of the Lord informs her that she will give birth to the Son of God, her whole world gets shaken up. Her plans, her future - it all changes in the blink of an eye. She would be talked about behind people's and probably ostracized in most of the social networks she was a part of.  I wonder what would have happened if she would have said "no" to it all? Would God have listened? I am awestruck at the faithfulness of Mary - her obedience. Mary, instead of freaking out and going her own way, falls on her knees, perhaps out of complete terror, but nonetheless, she adopts the posture of worship. She humbly lays down her plans for God's will and she opens herself up to the graces of God and His incredible plan for her life. She first worships the Lord and then secondly ponders these things in her heart. I can't say I would have responded in that order myself.

"In Mary's humility, her willingness to die to her expectations and plans, God exalts her. In her submissiveness to His will, He fills her emptiness with fullness of Himself."

What a beautiful picture of how God works. In Mary's case, He literally filled her body with the holiness of Christ for 9 whole months. How will Mary's attitude of worship and humility show itself in my life? I want to continue to ponder these things in my own heart. 

"Fullness of joy is discovered only in the emptying of will. And I can empty. I can empty because counting His grace has awakened me to know how he cherishes me, holds me, passionately values me. I can empty because I am full of his love. I can trust."

So I will continue to count the graces of God in my life and pray that as I empty myself of me, that God might fill me with more of Him. And as I am filled with more of God, I pray that my heart would ponder His goodness and love for me in my heart. 


I am thankful for...
41. wool socks.
42. christmas shopping and having the finances to show family and friends how much they are loved.
43. free lattes.
44. gradual healing in relationships.
45. children's christmas programs.
46. child-like faith.
47. thank-you's relayed over video.
48. celebrating grandma's birthday - a remarkable woman in my life.
49. the smell of fresh, clean laundry.
50. the sound of a snoring cat sleeping beside me.
51. christmas movies on tv.
52. cars that heat up quickly.
53. uncrowded shopping malls.
54. finally finishing my christmas shopping and keeping it extremely stress free. 

The Best Surprise Ever.

I got a new job. I'm working part time with MB Mission here in Winnipeg. I'm pretty pumped about it. This job allows me to travel from time to time, and as such, I had the opportunity to attend the all staff leadership summit in Abbotsford this week (well, we actually stayed at a retreat centre just across the border, but close enough). The time getting to know the staff better and take part in sessions about missions and leadership was life giving. I left Sunday morning, had an intense 3 days and last night arrived back in Winnipeg. Talk about a whirlwind.

Because the job is new and I knew I was going to be going to Abbotsford, I decided not to tell a few people who are currently residing in Abbotsford. I thought it might be more fun to just show up at their doors on Tuesday night instead. And it was. I got to pull Rachael into my scheme, and I am so glad I did. She organized an entire evening of awesomeness with some of my most favorite people.

First off, we surprised Heidi. She screamed for a solid 5 min. It was awesome.

Rachael, Heidi and I enjoyed dinner at Milestones and enjoyed some of the best belinis around for old time's sake.

Next up, we headed over to Joanne's for some yummy snacks and to hang out with Joanne and her kids and Corina (I completely forgot to take pictures of this part of the night).

Last on the list was surprising Carla. It took her a few seconds to realize I was standing in her doorway, but once she realized, excitement set in and I ended up getting hit in the face (totally by accident of course :) There was also a lot of screaming going on.

For the remainder of the evening, we hit up Starbucks and hung out at CBC in the rec lounge. It was perfect, albeit too short.

At the end of the night, goodbye's were said and as I got on the plane, back to Winnipeg, the next day, it felt completely surreal that I had just spent an evening with some of my favorite people.

 I am thankful for:

21. people watching in airports.

22. morning flights that are accompanied by lots of coffee. Thank you Starbucks!

23. Laughter with co-workers.

24. new relationships that are formed among team members.

25. re-uniting with old friends

26. listening to Christmas carols being sung in worship and in four part harmonies.

27. Alone time. A room to myself at the retreat centre where I have moments to rest and refuel.

28. stories of new life and the work God is doing all over the world all because a baby was born at Christmas time.

29. Welcome packages that are filled with yummy little goodies that remind you that you are thought of and loved.

30. Afternoon walks in Abbotsford on a clear day so that Mt. Baker can be fully gazed upon as you walk.

31. Complete strangers who invite you over and make you feel as though you have been around forever.

32. Experimenting  with the making of eggnog lattes and then enjoying their goodness.

33. worship that brings goosebumps that shiver down my arms and legs

34. Invitations to learn 

35. doors that have been opened in ways that I never expected them to open.

36. screamed excitement over surprises

37. laughter and meaningful conversation that is experienced with friends.

38. technology - goodbyes are never really goodbyes.

39. conversations in bed with a friend that cause you to stay up WAY too late.

40. the familiarity of returning home to the comforts of my own bed.

Blessed.

1. A house that is quiet, where solitude is truly enjoyed.
2. Christmas trees that are all decorated and lit up.
3. Sipping the perfect cup of coffee by the Christmas tree.
4. Sleeping animals curled up next to me on the couch.
5. Delicious Christmas baking.
6. New jobs.
7. Warm blankets to snuggle under when the wind is blowing and it's cold outside.
8. Transformation.
9. Distant friends who, with time, become less distant.
10. Evening walks with the dog where all that is heard is the crunching of the snow beneath my boots. 
11. Radio stations that actually play Christmas songs.
12. Cafe mistos that can be made from home instead of paying $3.00 at Starbucks, but taste just as good.
13. Finances that make ends meet each month.
14. Christmas brunches with yummy food and good conversation.
15. Hearing an incredible woman speak about what it looks like to truly forgive and to notice the fingerprints of God through tragedy.
16. Spending time learning from my Grandma.
17. Pizza suppers that just hit the spot after a long day.
18. Spontaneous skype dates with friends from afar that fill you with joy and that make the distance seem not so bad and a lot less lonely.
19.Listening to the joy and the laughter of little children during POD class.
20. Crossword puzzles and naps on a Saturday afternoon.

Pondering Thanksgiving

A friend of mine recently invited me to read a book by Ann Voskamp entitled, "One Thousand Gifts". For the last week I have been pouring my time into reading this book, and as I read, I find myself in a constant state of agreement, whispering the word "Amen!" at the end of every sentence. I am being challenged to incorporate a life full of more gratitude. I truly want to be able to give thanks in all circumstances, to echo the words of Job and say,

"The Lord gave, and the Lord takes away;

Blessed be the name of the Lord." (Job 1:21)

What would my life look like if I adopted this attitude - this mantra for myself? Can one not agree that this would be a pretty incredible way to live? The author of the book would be the first to admit that this is easier said than done. There are days when gratitude and thankfulness seem like the most unnatural response, but learning to give thanks, to live out this idea of Eucharisteo - deep joy found at the table of Thanksgiving - takes great discipline.

"Daily discipline is the door to full freedom, and the discipline to count to one thousand gave way to the freedom of wonder and I can't imagine not staying awake to God in the moment, the joy in the now."

It's interesting timing that this book is speaking to me as the advent season begins. I don't believe that this is at all a coincidence. In a season where materialism and consumerism run rampant and where the true meaning of Christmas is lost on so many people, I feel as though this is the perfect time to practice the discipline of thankfulness. To truly live out this discipline of Eucharisteo is the" "hard discipline to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty. The hard discipline to give thanks, for all things at all times because He is all good. The hard discipline to number the griefs as grace because as the surgeon would cut open my son's finger to heal him, so God chooses to cut into my ungrateful heart to make me whole".

After all, is that not what Christmas is all about? God sending his one and only son into the world to overcome the ugliness that has consumed this earth and ourselves and to make us whole. Through the birth of Christ, the world transfigures into new life. 

So this advent and Christmas season I am taking on the author's challenge to make a list of one thousand gifts - graces if you will - that I am thankful for.  I am not sure how long creating this list will take me (my hunch is that this might be a many month long process), but disciplines take time and I want to be sure that I am taking the time to really learn what being thankful in all things means and looks like. As I embark on this journey, it is my desire for my life to be transfigured. I want to experience what it is like to live full of joy in the moment, to have my eyes awakened to the grace and mercies that God has lavished upon my life.

Day 1 of my Thankfulness Project starts today. Oh Lord awake my soul so that I may sing of your graces!