A New Season

The weather is getting cooler with each day. There is a dampness in the air that chills you to the bone. Experiencing BC fall is a lot different than Manitoba fall. Tis the season of big, chunky sweaters, snuggling up with blankets on the couch and sipping warm beverages while the colors of the leaves change right before your eyes. I love it. I love everything about this time of year.

The weather and the leaves are not the only things changing these days. My heart has been on an overhaul of sorts. God is changing my heart - refining it, re-shaping it and transforming it. It is good.

I have just finished a 48 hour silent retreat. Talk about goodness in every way, shape and form! God and I had some good, quality time together - something that felt long overdue. God and I have spent time together over the last number of weeks and months, but there was a lack of intimacy.

At 12:30pm on Thursday, all went completely quiet at the Mark Centre. People generally recommend sleeping a fair bit during a silent retreat, so I took them up on that suggestion and had a nap (and by nap I mean I definitely slept for 4 hours), but I figured, what better way to start a silent retreat than resting in the presence of Jesus. I woke up feeling energized and ready to be with God.

I started off the retreat asking God if there was anything in my heart that needed his light shined on. God very quickly responded and brought forth some things that I thought I had dealt with previously, but I guess I had not exactly finished. I kept having the words "I have redeemed you" running through my head over and over again. I read through the book of Hosea 3 times. This was God speaking. I felt freedom and completely forgiven.
God needed to remove some of that other stuff that was taking up space in my heart in order for us to go deeper in this silent retreat and through the rest of my life.

Day 2 was spent asking God and doing a lot of listening about who God has made me to be - my passions, things in my life that drain me and what makes me feel fully alive in the presence of Jesus. I felt very much led to read through Psalm 139 - I mean really read through it. I spent a good 30 hours with that Psalm - soaking in each and every word. God was reminding me that I am His beloved and He is pleased with me. God delights in me. He craves relationship with me - He has made me a perfect creation - I am made in the image of God. Because I am made in the image of God, I possess some of the same qualities of God. I am a thought of God that has not been or ever will be repeated throughout all of time. I am incapable of seeing and understanding the greatness of the God who created me. Thus, I am never going to see myself or fully understand God. If I attempt to see myself how God sees me and believe that my personality and characteristics resemble that of God, then I am as close as I can be to seeing and experiencing the reality of God because He lives and abides in me. When I acknowledge these characteristics of God in me and see myself as God sees me, then I believe I am fully alive in the presence of Jesus. How cool is that??

This silent retreat thing is definitely something I want to be making space for in my life. My future retreats probably won't be 48 hours long, but maybe it's a day or even just a few hours. God invites me to spend time in his presence and he delights in me doing so. I felt rejuvinated and refreshed. I loved the intimacy with God and I am excited about where God will continue to lead me. I want to soak up more of Jesus. I want to be fully alive in his presence. There have been so many years in my life (not so much in the last 4 years or so) where I have felt anything but alive and now I have this unspeakable joy and fullness bubbling in within me and I don't want it to end. I want the presence of the Holy Spirit to wash over me and move through me always.

Trek so far...

I have a few observations and reflections from my first 4 days on Trek.

1. It's been a challenging journey so far - spiritually, emotionally and physically. As said in my previous post, God is already at work and doing some pretty incredible things. I am physically tired (there are sadly few opportunities for afternoon naps, which makes session times in the afternoon challenging). Emotionally, I have had a hard few days. I have been terribly homesick and have cried many tears.

2. Roommates. I remember why this was a fear of mine prior to beginning this journey. I love my space. I love my quiet time where I can just sit and be. It turns out that the people I am rooming with here in Abbotsford, don't feel the same way as I do. This is unfortunate. They like to talk non-stop and despite my efforts in hinting at them that I need some quiet time, it has made for some frustrating moments (I may on occasion envision myself shoving a pillow in their faces so that I can have a few moments of silence, but I have not yet acted upon this). We also have very little in common. I'm really hoping that perhaps the incessant need to talk is coming from nervousness and will decrease as time goes on and as we get to know each other better.

3. Despite challenges in the roommate department, I have met a number of lovely people. I have had the opportunity to engage in really neat conversations with people and have made some good friends in Alison, Carla, Heidi and Rachael. What an answer to prayer. I'm excited to journey with these people.

4. I am the oldest person here by 2 years. I am in a very different stage of life than most people here, which on some levels has made it hard to relate, but as personalities emerge and we find more common denominators among us, the age gaps seem to lessen.

5. The food and the cooks here on Trek are awesome. I am eating very well and wish I could take Corinna (the cook) home with me at the end of this. Plus, she is just a lovely woman.

6. I am being blessed with minimal headaches so far. Hallelujah! I was very nervous for BC weather and wondered how my head was going to do. With the help of medication, I am doing pretty good.

That's all I have right now, but feel free to check out my other blog for more Trek details

www.underopenskies2.blogspot.com

Above All Else

The first few days of Trek have been both overwhelming and exciting all rolled into one. We have hit the ground running. Over the course of these last 3 days I have already heard from some pretty incredible speakers - they are truly insipiring to listen to. Truth be told that I have never felt as though my heart was in missions. I was and at this point still am fairly confident in the choices I have made in my life regarding career, etc. But, my heart has been tugged. Listening to Steve Klassen and Randy Friesen describe their experiences from around the world and how the global church is growing and how these people, despite all odds and opposition against them, they still choose to follow Jesus with reckless abandon and are litterally giving up all they have. That is inspiring and moving stuff.

Looking through the gospel of Mark, we get a picture of what true discipleship should look like - what God truly calls us to do. Not once does he sugar coat a life of following him. There are huge risks for Jesus' disciples to leave all that they know and have in order live a life following the footsteps of Christ. It takes risk taking obedience to be a true disciple. When we are able and willing to give Jesus everything - truly all of ourselves, we allow for the Holy Spirit to truly move and work in our lives.

The cost of discipleship looks very different for every person. I truly have not felt a pull or any sort of conviction, to leave all of my personal belongings and family/friends behind and venture off to a foreign land for an extensive period of time to minister to a certain people. That is not to say that God will not or cannot alter that plan, but for the moment I believe that God is preparing me in such a way to minister and be a disciple to my co-workers and to my life in Winnipeg. This year ahead is going to be completely life changing. It's going to be a very hard year as I allow God to strip me down, to refine me, transform me, stretch me and mold me into the person he has created me to be.

My prayer and hopes for the year ahead is that I would delight in the presence of God. I want to know his voice above all else. I want to be obedient to what he has called me to do and be. I have asked God to instill in me wisdom as I seek him and as I go deeper in the word and as I engage him. I desire that my relationship with my heavenly father would be of utmost importance - that we would have a partnership as we walk and talk together. I believe God speaks and answers the cries and desires of his people, so I am excited and anxious for all that God is going to do in my life this year. It's going to the most incredible adventure I can imagine.

Reunitted

I am on day 4 of my time with Graham, Kristy and Norah! It has been soooooo good to spend time with them. Oh how I had missed them! Our days have been full of good things - everything from time at the park, Starbucks, movie/puzzle nights, shopping trips into Coquitlam, excursions to the Zoo to just chilling out. It has been 4 days of pure perfection.

for the record, Kristy and I completed this 1000 piece puzzle in one evening.

One evening, Kristy and I headed into Coquitlam to do some shopping at the mall and at the Ikea. I had missed shopping with this lady!

On the way home, we stopped off at McDonalds for a twist cone. We were disappointed to learn that in BC, McDonalds no longer sells twist or chocolate ice cream. Only vanilla. Who ever heard of such ridiculousness???? Vanilla was still good too though.

It's incredible how much Norah has grown up since I last saw her in June. Time truly flies WAY too quickly. It's been too bad that Graham has had to do a lot of working this week, but hopefully he will be able to join in on our fun more this weekend.

Today we went to the Greater Vancouver Zoo. We got a little rained on, but it made for very few people there, which was kind of nice. The zoo was awesome - the variety of animals was awesome. Let's just say that this zoo is significantly better than the Winnipeg Zoo.

Norah had a great time at the zoo. She walked pretty much the whole time, which I thought was pretty impressive. Norah has been reminding us a number of times of which animals were our favorites. Kara likes the giraffes. Mommy likes the grizzly bear and the zebras. Norah likes the rhino and the racoons (go figure). Baby Sister likes the lions.

I have a few more days left with this Friesen household - days that will be full of coffee drinking, park dates and evening walks. Delightful!!!!

It's Go Time

Well, this morning finally came and I am currently sitting in the Edmonton Airport with my venti extra hot pumpkin spice latte killing time before I board the next plane for Abbotsford. It's been quite the emotional morning already and it's only 9:30am. I must admit that I had a hard time going through the departure gates in Winnipeg - had it not been for the fact that in a few short hours I will be hugging the lovely Norah and Kristy, I might have chickened out.

Now that |I am here and en route, I am filled with a whole range of emotions - excitement, fear, nervousness and anxiousness. I can't believe that this adventure is finally beginning.

It was a busy weekend of saying goodbye to people I love, but I need to remind myself that this is a season. These next 10 months are going to fly by incredibly fast and before I know it, I will find myself coming home to friends, family and the familiar.

It's GO time.

The Infamous Cake

Nothing like leaving in 3 days and having a wedding cake to complete. Good times. This was my first wedding cake I made for a friend of a co-worker. It was nothing fancy - marble cake with swiss meringue buttercream between the layers. White Fondant. Beach Blue ribbon and chocolate seashells.

This cake was definitely a last minute job and thankfully there were no major flaws or glitches (other than not getting paid for this cake yet, but that is another story for another time) because my life just has no room right now for set-backs.

My lovely sistah was my associate for the afternoon and helped me drop off the cake the wedding venue. Due to waiting an hour for the people to show up to pay me (which they never did), we felt like losers waiting outside on the steps of St. Charles Country Club, so we took the opportunity to document the moment.

Upon Dominika's suggestion, we decided to drown our frustrations (mine at least) by making a pit stop at High Tea Bakery for some baked goods and a latte. There were significantly more goodies in the box, but they got eaten extremely quickly :)

The end of the day came, the cake was completed and delivered and now I can move onto the more important things,  like packing.