Stop. Breathe.

I have lost track at how many times I have started this post. Seriously. I keep trying to sum up life over the past few weeks and everything I write doesn't seem to sound right or convey what I want it to. Not only that, I have found myself with very little time to actually sit down at the computer for any length of time and write a post. When I got up this morning, I found myself immediately anxious with the list of "To Do's" for the day. I needed to collect my thoughts, take some deep breaths and reflect. So here goes nothing.

January has felt like a whirlwind of activity. I think I can count on one hand how many evenings I actually spent at home, relaxing, nourishing me. I am not one who thrives off of constant activity and rushing around. That is not how I choose to do life. Needless to say, I am feeling tired and worn out. I am beyond exhaustion. The hard part is that the things that have kept me on my feet day after day are all wonderful and great things. I really can't complain because 9/10 of the time these things bring me a great deal of joy. What has definitely kept me going day after day is the fact that in 2 days, at this exact time, I will be sitting on a plane, en route to Cabos San Lucas, Mexico with 2 wonderful people for a week of relaxing, laughing, eating and sunbathing (well, maybe not exactly sunbathing seeing as I probably won't change color from the time I leave to the time I come back, but I can always dream right???). I am anticipating nothing but good things for the week ahead. I can't wait to get there.

At the beginning of the new year I stated that I wanted to want more of Jesus. I wanted to experience him being enough for me. It has been one month in and already, January has been a month of learning I guess you might say, of letting the Holy Spirit lead. I have found myself in a place where I wake up craving the presence of God. I am practicing silence before God rather than spewing off words, in hopes of being attentive to the Spirit's voice, so that when and if I do hear something, that I might also act. Initially this sounds all very good and it is. However, this is a vulnerable and sometimes scary place to be. What if I hear something that I don't want to hear? Can I be bold enough to respond to the leading of the Spirit even if it puts me in uncomfortable and unfamiliar territory? These are some huge questions I am struggling with. I want to think that I would respond with boldness and obedience, but let's face it, I am human and I sin. In the meantime, I have made a list of obstacles/hindrances that might prevent me from not only acting but also hearing from the Holy Spirit. In doing so, I am hoping that when and if I do hear something, I would go through this list and then ask myself if any of these things are preventing me from responding. Even though there is an element of fear in all of this, I must admit there is also a great deal of excitement that fills me. Who knows where God will lead me, but I know that whatever and wherever it is, it promises to be an incredible journey. Then I have to ask myself, how can I not follow?

Well, the coffee pot is beeping, informing me that my coffee is ready. I am going to sit and enjoy my cup for a couple more minutes and then continue onward with the day ahead.

8 Days Left!!!!!

Eeek.

The Countdown Continues

I realized that after I changed the style and layout of my blog, my ticker went away and I forgot to re-add it again. So just in case you were all wondering what the count down to Mexico is, it is,

20 DAYS!!!!!

Yes, in 20 short days Kristen, Gareth and I will be found sipping drinks with umbrellas and laying by the pool. In these next few weeks I still have to find a bathing suit - something I am not looking forward to.

Just Plain Cute

These 2 characters are just too cute for words. I found Norah sitting in her doll crib on New Years Eve. Who says doll cribs are just for dolls.

Hayley loves Norah. I'm sure she can hardly wait until she can do everything that Norah does.

Showing off her dance moves.

This auntie loves her girls!

Cheers to a New Year!

-46 seems like a dreadful way to ring in a new year, however, that also means a day of sweatpants, no showers/getting ready, movie watching, puzzle making and new years cookies. All these great delights make up for the frigid temperatures and make for a lovely way to spend ringing in the new year. Low key. Cheers to that!

2009 was a good year in all I think. It definitely wasn't the best year, but it wasn't awful either. There were wonderful memories and some not so great memories made.

This year I have celebrated with Andrew and Aimee as they welcomed little Hayley into their family, with Don and Lavonne as they welcomed little Teegan into theirs. Mourned and cried many tears with Ken & Sabrina as they said goodbye to Kate.

It's been a challenging and exhausting year in regards to my health - ranging from botox treatments, going off my meds (I think it's safe to say I will never try that again), experiencing some of the worst headaches I have ever had and adjusting to the idea of having this pain be apart of my life for the long haul. At times the lack of progress with my headaches has put a strain on my relationship with God, but I am hopeful that this next year brings with it a game plan so that there can be some peace within my head. I have to hope.

I was talking with my future sister-in-law the other night and we were discussing friends and how hard it is to find friends who will love you and support you no matter what and who accept you for the person you are. As I listened to her talk about friends who have come and gone, I couldn't help but reflect upon the friends in my life and be truly thankful. It makes me sad to think that not everybody has a good group of friends. I have the most incredible group of ladies in my life who are in so many ways more like sisters. They accept all of me - the good, the bad and the ugly. Just thinking about each of these girls makes me teary eyed because I cannot imagine life without them. A week of absence from each other and we experience withdrawal. These girls are amazing. Actually, amazing doesn't do these girls justice - I'm not sure there is any one word that can fully describe how much they mean to me. I could go through each of these women and list off the incredible qualities they possess, but that would take much longer then I have time for right now. Perhaps one day I will be able to sum these fine ladies up for you. I am just so incredibly blessed to have them in my life - to know I can ask them for anything and they will go above and beyond what I need. Kristy, Sabrina, Kristen & Aimee, thank you for being you!

Life with God this past year has been exciting, challenging, frustrating and incredible. When I began 2009 I set some pretty high goals. I desired the Incarnate God. Emmanuel. God with us. I wanted to crave His presence in every aspect of my life. Did I accomplish that? Somedays I did. Somedays I failed miserably. A full year has passed and I still find myself craving that nearness to God. I have so much yet to learn.
2010 will be another year of striving to make Jesus all I want - to have Him be truly enough for me. To be attentive to the Holy Spirit and the presence of Jesus and have those Christ-like qualities seep out from every pore in my body.

There are good things coming my way in 2010. It's exciting to think about. I am getting a sister-in-law on June 19. I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of Friesen baby #3 at the end of June/beginning of July. I am impatiently awaiting my trip to Mexico in 28 days. Just to name a few. I have no doubt that 2010 will hold delightful, life-giving moments and I am excited to see what God has in store for me.

So here's to a new year. New beginnings. New chapters and new life. Cheers!