be still

Sitting with this song today and allowing the lyrics to wash over. 

love & thanks.

It's been a full few weeks - so much that I feel like I have been running around with my head cut off. So, today I am relishing my day off (or mostly day off - I have to work tonight at the clinic). The dump of snow Winnipeg has received has been an answer to my heart's need to stay in the coziness of my apartment and just 'be'. The snow that is piled high around my car has forced me to stay put - to instead spend the day baking, napping, drinking copious amounts of coffee and catching up with friends via Skype rather than filling up my day with 'to do' lists and errands to run. The snow could be seen as an inconvenience, but I am choosing to take in its beauty - to take in the crispness in the air and the soft crunching of snow beneath my feet as I walk in a winter wonderland of sorts. In a season of busy-ness and uncertainty, I choose to give thanks...

• walking through the snow and enjoying the perfectly large snowflakes softly falling.
• egg nog chai lattes in pretty red cups.
• the awesomeness that is pumpkin cookies.
• spending the day baking up a storm while it snows outside.
• celebrating with friends a new life that is being made, which means more cute clothes to buy for this auntie :)
• ninja making with my favourite little man G.
• a change of scenery to enjoy hotels and hot tubs and shopping.
• music that soothes the soul and gives the heart a voice when the words can't seem to form.
• a community that I am blessed to work with.
• answered prayer.
• snow that blankets the parking lot forcing you to stay home and catch your breath.
• wool socks that keep your feet toasty on chilly days.
• Skype dates with friends in far away places that leave your side aching because you are laughing so hard.

28.

Today I turned 28. I feel no different than I did yesterday and I think I look the same, but here I am, another year old. It's funny how in the last couple of years the excitement of my birthday has changed for me - it is not the multi-day celebration that I once made it out to be. Maybe it's a sign of getting older. Last year I remember being taken aback at this realization, unsure of what was becoming of me. But this year, I find myself welcoming the ease of a day to remain low-key, where time and schedules do not dictate my day. There is freedom to come and go and to rest as I please. And I did just that. 

My day started with a Skype call from Matt, Kiri & the kids in Portugal, singing a lovely rendition of "Happy Birthday". It started off strong, but as a glass of milk was spilled by one of the kids, the song slowly petered out. I love it - Real life. It was the perfect way to start the day. The remainder of the day consisted of a lunch date at Kawaii Crepe, coffee at Starbucks to cash in my free birthday drink, hot drinks to sip on the couch while watching movies under the warmth of a cozy blanket, and a yummy perogy supper. 

Perfection.

In beginning a new year of life comes a time to reflect, both on the year past and the year ahead. As I look back at this past year and all that it held, I find myself amazed that so much happened this year. I have been invited to walk through open doors and allow other doors to close, specifically when it comes to my jobs. I had the opportunity to return to Portugal again for the summer and experience a fullness of life in that place and have passions and heart bursts confirmed. I have experienced and learned some of the unforced rhythms of grace as I continue to do life with friends and family. I have been challenged to remain in Him, the author and giver of life, the perfecter of our faith, because apart from Him, I can do nothing. I have been encouraged to walk a road of healing. I have been awakened to giving thanks. 

It has been a full year.

What does the year ahead look like? 

In so many things I cannot begin to predict or anticipate what God has in store for me this year. As I have spent some time over the last few days in quiet, in the presence of God, a word that has come to mind is contentment. In many ways, I feel like I am in a season of waiting, but I feel as though I am being asked to wait in contentment and with great faith. 

The other day I pulled out one of my bibles that I haven't used for awhile - it's big and clunky and not easy to cart around; I like my pocket size bible that just fits so nicely in my purse. In this bible I found a yellow slip of paper poking out. I opened up to that page...Esther 1. And on the piece of paper it read, 

"Kara - Esther, yes the entire book - Exceptional! 

Great things happen, when a young lady has total faith in God."

That was from my good friend Otto. He gave that to me the last day I was in Portugal, just over a year ago. The other day I read through the book of Esther again - I wanted to reacquaint myself with this woman of great faith - to see what God had to say to me through Esther as I look ahead to this next year. 

So, I am sitting with these pieces of faith and contentment, unsure of how they will play out in the year ahead, but there is a freedom and an excitement that resides within me as I wait to see what God unfolds before me.

Cheers!

Apartment Therapy

I've been in my new place for just over 3 weeks now...slowly it is beginning to feel like home. Unfortunately, because it is an apartment I am extremely limited as to how I can decorate and add my personal touch to the space. Despite my limitations, I am seeing it more as a challenge to incorporate my style and my creativity into the space. So here's what I'm working with right now. Welcome to my place!

Living Room

I'm attempting to create a plate wall over the couch. I'm not sure if it's going to work, but we will see. The challenge is finding secure ways of hanging the plates without putting any holes in the wall - no nails allowed in this place :)

Still left to do: Replace hideous curtains,

artwork over the couch, 

purchase an ottoman, 

re-upholster gold chair.

Kitchen

Still to do: find some artwork for over the table.

Hallway

Bathroom

There is nothing else to be done in this room. Each of the fixtures in here is a slightly different shade of yellow...very special. I decided to embrace the yellow by doing everything else in the room, like towels and accessories in white and grey. 

Bedroom

Still left to do: Artwork over the bed, 

replace curtains, 

purchase another nightstand.

Spare Room

 Right now the room is housing various odds and ends, but eventually, I would love have a roommate in here. The only thing left to do in here is clear out my stuff and add a person :)

So that's my place. I'm incredibly thankful for this place and I am excited for the decorating to continue as I make it a home.

Thanks.

Thankfulness. I have SO much to be thankful for and when I stop and think about it for a minute, it can become overwhelming when my eyes and heart are awakened to how much I am blessed with. I am acutely aware of how blessed I am and yet, how often do I take time in my day to truly recognize the gifts I have been given and give thanks?
Last year around this time, I started reading Ann Voskamp's book, "One Thousand Gifts". If you have not yet read it, I would encourage you to do so. I have been challenged this year to observe the fingerprints of God - the blessings in my day - the gifts - and choose a posture of thankfulness. I am not always very good at it. I am guilty of complaining and hurtful words. I still have much to learn about what it means to live out thankfulness. 

Over the course of the last few weeks, an attitude of thanks has probably been the farthest from my mind. In a season of finding myself overwhelmed, I have neglected to see the gifts in my day, I have neglected to choose joy. And still, in my heart of ungratefulness, I am offered grace. Daily. I am given a second chance to extend grace, to choose thanks, to live out joy. 

The brilliant don’t deny the dark but they are the ones who always seek the light in everything. This is not ignorance. This is imperative

Ann sums it up beautifully I think. In choosing to take a posture of thankfulness, I am not choosing to negate the darkness, but rather I choose take note of the specs of light within that darkness.

Here is to not just a weekend of giving thanks, but another year of learning what it means to live out thankfulness and the joy that takes root because of thanks!

Thankful for...

• new homes that begin new starts.
• people who choose to do life with each other.
• comforting smells of baking that replace the "new apartment smell".
• second chances.
• music that speaks to the heart when you can't seem to come up with the words on your own.
• cozy sweatpants and warm sweaters on cool fall days.
• cups of hot coffee to warm up cold hands.
• massages that loosen an incredibly stiff neck.
• a God who pursues.
• afternoon naps that refresh.
• sistah's from otha mistahs.
• doors that have opened and others that have closed.

it is finished...

Six months ago I started a project of transforming an old head board, found at MCC, into a fabulous upholstered headboard. I finished the actual upholstery stage six months ago, but for the longest time I could not find any nailhead trim to finish off the project. After a number unsuccessful attempts of ordering online, I finally found trim in "antique brass" on Amazon. What would we do without Amazon? Last week I got a fabulous little package in the mail - my nailhead trim and this evening, I finally got it put on the headboard. I can officially say my headboard is finished. And I love it.

This is how the headboard started out...I extended the legs, sanded it down and painted it white.

Newly upholstered.

The Finished Product...

Now onto the next project...I have a lovely armchair needing to be re-covered.

summer at the cottage.

I've done a pretty poor job of capturing life on film since being home from Portugal. I regret to say, that the only time I took out my camera was at the cottage - not a bad place at all to take pictures. So, in the last month, here is what life has looked like at the cottage over the last month.

a drive out to the cottage always requires a coffee stop at either Mountain Bean or Starbucks. 

some people are just incapable of making a normal face...right Derek....

summer sunsets

hard work. the sound of a chainsaw has unfortunately become an all too familiar noise at the cottage these days.

dreary reading days.

have I mentioned that I LOVE the prairies??

evening game playing...double twelve.

For those of you who know my parents, know that they have difficulty doing things in small quantities (or as I call them, "normal quantities). Things like pots are bought in the largest size possible. Tomatoes are grown in extreme quantities. And food is produced in enormous amounts. This past weekend at the cottage was no exception. It was salsa making weekend. 

these were the left over tomatoes.

This is 72 cups of tomatoes - missing still from the pot were the green peppers and the onions. 

even things like wooden spoons are purchased in crazy sizes. I was unable to stir the salsa with my feet on the ground - the pot and the spoon were too big, so on a chair I went.

the actual canning process.

 As I drove home yesterday evening, I was completely captivated by creation around me. 

a rainbow after a grey day.

thanks.

Feeling as though I need to practice a bit more thankfulness these days.

1. coffee dates that turn into spontaneous shopping trips.
2. Skype dates with my favourite Australians.
3. perfect summer temperatures where I find myself sitting outside, reading and enjoying a perfect cup of coffee.
4. dreaming and answers to prayer on the housing situation.
5. summer evening walks.
6. weekends to enjoy an empty house all to myself - a rarity around this house.
7. wine and Skype dates with my favourite missionary in Peru where I find myself in tears from laughing so hard.
8. packages that come in the mail.
9. peruvian coffee and a mug left on my desk at work from a dear friend.
10. thrift store treasures on a Saturday morning.
11. the smell of freshly dried laundry that has dried outside on the line. 

and so it goes...

I apologize for the lack of posting during my time in Portugal. With being there for such a short amount of time, I did the best I could in soaking up every possible moment I could with people. I have now been home for 5 days and the question arises, "So, how was it?" It's a hard question because I have 30 seconds to capture one's attention and to do justice to the 6 weeks I have just experienced. That's hard because truthfully, I could spend 1 full hour talking about the food, another hour talking about transportation, and three hours talking about the people and the ministries going on. How does one sum up a 6 week experience in 30 seconds?

• I experienced God through doing everyday life with people - sitting around the table, babysitting, etc. It wasn't about the projects or the ministries, but about living life with people. 
• I grew as a leader. In my moments of feeling completely inadequate for the role as leader, God challenged me to remain in him because apart from him I can do nothing.
• I experienced more of what it looks and feels like to have my heart break for a country and for people through prayer. 

Those are just a few of the many things I experienced this summer. So now what? I have just finished my second trip to Portugal, my heart has clearly fallen in love with that place, so what does that mean for my life? I cannot deny that I have a calling to Portugal, however in this moment, I do not know what that looks like long term. As I have re-entered life here at home and re-connected with phenomenal co-workers, I know that I have also been called to my job at MB Mission. As I look back over this last year and see how God has opened doors, closed other doors, all in perfect timing, I am confident that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And so, the challenge begins as I walk into this new season of my life, holding these 2 tensions equally in my hands. As hard as it is some days to walk holding both of these tensions, I know that God has something for me in each of these and that as I allow my roots to grow deep in Him and as I tune into His voice, He will direct my paths. 

This summer I have been spending a considerable amount of time in John 15 and I feel as though the words, "Remain in me and I will remain in you. Apart from me you can do nothing", are perfectly fitting as I walk with these tensions and enter the next season. There is nothing forced about these words, but rather an invitation to live freely, knowing that the details will be worked out. The words "learn the unforced rhythms of grace" come to mind. It's kinda beautiful. 

I'll end off with a few pictures from Portugal - pictures of living everyday life with people. 

Have I ever mentioned how much I love these 2??

Youth Retreat

Living with Joe & Paula

Coffee dates with my dear friend Kiri

3 of the most energetic and wonderful kids I know! These 3 have stolen my heart.

Girls Night: Snail Festival

Debora and I

Hanging out with the kids in Massama - no agendas or programs, just playing.

Family meals at Otto & Marjorie's